Throw Me a Bone, Here
I plan to rise from the sunken city of R’Lyeh one day and wipe out all life on this planet. I expect some resistance, but right now I’m worried more about what the dolphins and elephants could do than I am about humans, particularly in the USA. How is it that the number of people seeking degrees in computer science has declined since 2000? I thought for sure there would have been a glut of people trying to get aboard the IT gravy train and that it would become an industry as staid and formalized as law or medicine or engineering.
Once upon a time, if a person could read a book, he could be a lawyer. If he could stand the sight of blood, he became a doctor. If he could use dynamite without blowing himself up, engineering beckoned. IT is as wide-open now as those professions once were.
Within three months of graduation from high school, an enterprising young American could go to a junior college and get an Oracle DBA certification. With around 3 years of experience, an Oracle DBA can expect to make as much money as it does to pay for a four-year degree. Those six classes at the junior college pay off in a big, big way.
But nobody’s taking those classes. Science and technical programs all over the USA are dominated by foreign students. The locals seem content to either enslave or be slaves, like the diminished Morlocks and Eloi of H.G. Wells’ imagination. Neither of those races would put up much resistance to my rule and, frankly, the Morlocks would dig my style as I slaughtered the Eloi for them. All I would have to do now is aim for the richest Americans and the rest would dance on their graves to whatever tunes I get the shoggoths to play. Then, I’d blow them all up without any further ado.
Bo-ring.
To the upcoming generation of Americans, please, I implore you, give me some kind of challenge worthy of my stature. I’d much prefer a bit of a competition before I wipe out humanity. There simply aren’t enough people with the skills necessary to mount anything like what a good defense would entail. The other Great Old Ones are watching: I won’t have any street cred if all I do is wipe out a puny race of humans. Now, the Primordial Ones… they could put up a stiff fight… so step it up, humanity. You don’t have that much time to get your act together.